Goals | February

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So I have to say that I'm actually pretty happy with the outcome of January's goals.
I did really well at creating new habits in regards to eating better, journaling, not shopping, working out, trying out new methods of organization, getting rid of some things, having a daily quiet time and getting much better at creating a work schedule to stick to, as well as a few other things.
Granted the work schedule isn't exactly how I'd like it to be yet (neither is the workout one for that matter...), but it's a heck of a lot better then where it was a month or two ago!
I can definitely feel a difference in a lot of ways already, even though I wasn't as strict and routine as I wanted to be with a few of the goals, so I'm not going to be so hard on myself. I mean this is a process after all, and it's certainly not going to be perfect the first go round.
Things take time.


When thinking about what I wanted to do for February's goals, I thought about what was important to me. The first thing that came to mind was the people in my life.
And so, while I focused on myself for the first month of this year and taking care of myself and creating good habits, this month I'm going to focus on others.
That first bit might seem selfish but at the same time we can't truly love others and care for them if we don't first love and take care of ourselves.
Don't you agree?
So this month, despite it being a tad bit cliche with Valentine's Day and all, I'm focusing on love. Loving others. And finding new/strange/exciting/hard/fun/uncomfortable/selfless ways to do that.
And, as it so happens, in The Happiness Project Gretchen talks about a very similar project for her February chapter of the book.
So it's perfect!
Here are some thoughts and reminders I've collected to motivate and inspire this months goals.



February | There Is Only Love



Expect The Best
  • Love expects the best.
  • Remember that there is only love.
  • Refuse to have critical thoughts of others or of circumstances.
  • Often times we are far more aware of what we do than what other people do. Whether it's in a tough situation, in a discussion about compromising or when we feel wronged. Be more aware of what others do or what they may be dealing with. I don't always see the big picture. 
  • In frustrating situations where I might be tempted to assume things or think the worst. Take a moment to reframe. Go back and remember the first thing on this list. 
  • My relationships set the weather for other areas of my life.
  • One of the worst things is to focus on someones bad habits and take their virtues for granted.
  • What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while.
  • "It is easy to be heavy, hard to be light " -G.K. Chesterton
  • 1 Corinthians 13:4 = What love is
Don't Expect Praise Or Appreciation

  • When doing things for others, don't have ulterior motives. 
  • However sometimes you have to do things you're doing for others, for yourself. If you do it for other people, you end up wanting them to ackowledge it and to be grateful and to give you credit. If you do it for yourself you don't expect people to react in a particular way.
  • Am I doing this selflessly or is it for a "gold star"?
  • It's not about what I'm getting out of doing it.
Fight Right

  • Some disagreement is inevitable. Even valuable. Don't see it all as negative.
  • In order to fight right you should tackle one difficult topic at a time. Not airing every grievance and wrong doing ever committed in the history of the relationship.
  • Avoid saying things such as "You always.." and "You never.."
  • Be honest about feelings now instead of later. Don't allow things to build up.
  • The major cause of my bad feelings might not be others behaviour, but rather my guilt about my reaction.
  • Expressing anger often doesn't relieve it, but amplifies it.

Nix The Negativity

  • People pick up on one anothers moods easily.
  • Hearing people complain is tiresome. Regardless of whether or not the complaining is justified.
  • In any relationship it's less important to have many pleasant experiences than it is to have fewer unpleasant experiences. Because people have a "negativity bias"; our reactions to bad events are faster, stronger and stickeier than our reactions to good events.
  • It has been said that it takes at least 5 positive actions to offset one critical or destructive action.
Give Proofs of Love
  • Whatever love I might feel in my heart, others will see only in my actions.
  • Focus on peoples love languages. If I don't know them, learn them.
  • If you want to know how people would like to be treated, it's more important to look at how they themselves act than what they say.
  • "Act the way I want to feel" -Acting lovingly towards someone can only amplify my love for them.
  • Love extravagantly.
  • Take all the love you've received and give it away like you weren't trying to save it for later. We are rivers, not reservoirs.
  •  In Galatians Paul writes that the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. Which is loving God, and then by extension loving other people. As we begin to focus more on Christ, loving Him and others becomes more natural. 
  • Make a list of specific acts of love that I can accomplish this month.

My RVA: From One Street Corner

Some more photos from the archives.

 These were taken back in the fall after

this shoot

. 

When the trees still had some color and you could see it reflected in all of the upstairs apartment windows, and golden hour wasn't quite so early in the day, and the air had that crispness about it that everyone always endlessly talks about.

In short: One of my favorite kind of days. 

What Love Is


Photo Cred: Meagan Abell

In light of February being the month of love and having my February goals actually centered around that (don't roll your eyes at the cliche-ness yet), I've been reflecting on what love is. And while I've been reading various quotes, and books and things other people say, I don't think there's anything that explains it better than this.
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Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.


A Winter Mixtape

| Follow me on Instagram at @agirlnamedleney |

Because music is my favorite.


//1. Train Song - Feist & Ben Gibbard
//2. Painter Song - Norah Jones
//3. Is He Really Coming Home? - The School
//4. The Arrival of The Birds & Transformation - The Cinematic Orchestra
//5. Country Lane - Telekinesis
//6. Fragile Bird - City & Colour
//7. This Charming Man - The Smiths
//8. Don't Think Twice, It's All Right - Bob Dylan
//9. Blood - The Middle East
//10. Out Of Egypt, Into The Great Laugh Of Mankind, And I Shake The Dirt From My Sandals As I Run - Sufjan Stevens


DJ + Mike | Blessing Ceremony

Meet DJ and Mike.

They had a blessing ceremony in North Carolina back in December in preparation for their wedding in England this month. 
It was a low key event with just a few family and friends, but it was no less special and beautiful! 
You can tell that these two really love each other, which is something wonderful to witness and be apart of. Dearly wish I could have come to their wedding! I know it was absolutely amazing though. 
So very happy for them.
Here are a few favorites photos from the day!



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Check out more here.

Interested in getting some portraits of your own done?

Email me for more info: by.leney@gmail.com


My RVA: Snow

I was sitting here trying to sum up how I feel about this sort of snow, the best kind of snow, when I came across this quote and it's a little bit perfect/says all of the things I wanted to say better than I could have said them, so I'm just going to leave it at that.

“I love snow for the same reason I love Christmas: It brings people together while time stands still. Cozy couples lazily meandered the streets and children trudged sleds and chased snowballs. No one seemed to be in a rush to experience anything other than the glory of the day, with each other, whenever and however it happened.” - Rachel Cohn

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Flawless

Photo Cred: Meagan Abell

This is a post I wrote quite some time ago but never got around to sharing.
Recently Ashley over at Overcome the Lie contacted me and asked if I'd write a post for their blog tour they're doing this month, which is all about empowering women to overcome the lies they listen to and walk fully free in who God made them to be.
As soon as I got her email I thought about this post, the content of which still resonates with me, and so I thought I would share it here today. 
The quote is one I read on a blog somewhere and really loved and once I shared it with Ashley she pointed out that it's actually scripture, from Song of Solomon 4:7.
Which just makes me love these words even more.
I hope you all will be gracious in me sharing this much of my heart on here, and hopefully get something out of it for yourself. Feedback and your thoughts on the subject are wholeheartedly welcome.
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"You are beautiful, my darling. There is not a flaw in you."

I read these words somewhere this week (I don't remember where honestly, so I unfortunately can't give proper credit) and they really resonated with me. 
These words are what, I believe, God says when He looks at us.

I was never really one to have body image insecurities growing up. 
I'm not really sure why, other than the fact that I was blessed to grow up in a home where I was told I was beautiful and amazing almost every day. Equipped regularly with the truth of who God said I was, what I was capable of and what I did and didn't have to listen to and believe about what other people and other things might say about me. I was gifted with a confidence that is rare in this day and age, especially in regards to body image. 
However, I know lots of people who have that kind of background and still struggle with believing that they are beautiful outwardly. 

As I've reached my 20's, and I've continued into them, it's become harder and harder to hang onto that confidence and those truths that were instilled in me when I was younger.
I think this is the case for many girls my age.
As we grow up and become more independent of our parents, (in our living situations, jobs and in who we hang out with and where we go) it becomes more and more of a battle to hang onto those truths we learned when we were younger, if we ever really learned them at all.

As I've gotten older, the world and it's megaphone has gotten louder and louder. 
Sending a loud and clear broadcasted message stating what it's version of beauty is.
Trying to eat away and consume what my heart knows true beauty is. Trying desperately to tear down that confidence that I've built up in myself and in my savior. 
I honestly think this is because the older we get the more influence we have.
We're able to share more readily our beliefs, our thoughts and the things that we live out. We have the capability to be of greater influence. Not to say that when you're younger you don't have this capability, but I think with age comes a greater opportunity and an assumed responsibility.
 It's because of that independence that we automatically gain as we age and because of the worlds stereotype of "if you're older you have more things to say and you will be taken more seriously". Regardless of whether or not that's actually true in it's essence I think that age does somewhat give you more of a credibility.
After all, "with age comes wisdom" does it not?

And so why then wouldn't the world want to shatter any chance of you being able to proclaim any sort of message worth listening to?
It wouldn't want that at all. 

It wants to define beauty as being able to fit into that dress. As blemish-less skin. As six pack abs and soft and perfect hair. As weighing this amount. As being able to say you've accomplished this or done that. As the clothing you wear and the things you do and what you own.
But this isn't true beauty. 

God doesn't define us and our beauty outwardly. 
And neither should we. 
But this is so hard to hold onto when we have so much telling us otherwise on a daily basis. 
What you focus on is what you become. 
Comparison is the thief of joy. 
We know these things, we've heard them before, but we don't really believe them.
We say we do.
Because that's the thing to do.
And that's what all of our friends are saying most of the time.
But when we get dressed in the morning and we look in the mirror and think:
"Gosh I wish I had a smaller waist..." 
Or when we're out with our girlfriends and complaining about our "fat thighs" and "wide hips" and "broad shoulders", we're proclaiming a different truth to ourelves.
I truth that's actually not true at all.
We need to start proclaiming what we are and stop proclaiming what we're not. 
And what we are is beautiful. Flawless. Breathtaking. 
Because He made us and He said those things about us when He did.

I think this is a message us girls need to not just hear, because we hear it a lot, but meditate on. Study. Repeat to ourselves. Until it's not just something we believe, but something we know. 
Because we are so bombarded day after day with what the world says true beauty is. 
And that is so toxic.
And if we aren't on our guard it can consume us. 
And it will eventually effect every other area in our lives, whether we realize it or not. 

So I am going to speak over myself that I am flawless. 
Because He says that I am.
And He has made me a new creation.
That doesn't mean that I don't make mistakes.
It doesn't mean that I don't sometimes feel ugly.
It doesn't mean that I'm guaranteed to feel content with myself internally and externally all of the time. 
But it does mean that I am beautiful regardless of how I actually feel about it. 
That elemental truth doesn't change just because I stop believing in it. 
There are certain truths that never change, even though my surroundings and external situations might. 
And I believe that this is one of them.

Wool and the Gang Progress

Finally got around to starting my Wool and the Gang Cross Country Coat today! 
After watching some of How To Marry A Millionaire I already had one sleeve cranked out. 
Man do I love big needles and big yarn. Instant knitting gratification! 
And let me just say that WATG's Crazy Sexy Wool is so soft and lovely to work with. 
I'm definitely hooked. 
Here are a few photos of my progress, hopefully I can sit down and finish this beauty soon!


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P.s. Wool and The Gang is actually having a sale right now! 
Up to 65% off! 
Go have a look see for yourself.


This post is sponsored by Wool and The Gang. You can find their shop here as well as find them on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Thanks!
All photos taken and edited with VSCO cam.

Blackbird Tees

Meet Jody and Karl.

They are the shop owners of 

Blackbird Tees

 and I had the privilege of dropping by their studio a month or two ago and learning about their process for making their super cool hand printed apparel!

A friend of mine had shown me their Etsy shop a while back and once I learned they were also fellow Richmond artists, I knew I had to say hello! As small as Richmond can feel sometimes, and for being here all my life, it's surprising the amount of artists and creatives that are in this city that I don't know about. So whenever I come across new ones I love making new connections if I can!

Jody and Karl were so sweet to let me stop by their studio and I loved watching how screen printing works and learning more about the behind the scenes of a full time shop. Karl even gave me a few tips for shipping orders which I need to look into for

my own shop

. ;)

This isn't the last you'll see of these two and their awesome apparel. 

Keep an eye out for an upcoming collaboration I'm doing with them soon! 

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Be sure to check out their...

Facebook

Twitter

And also their

shop feature

on Etsy!