and have you ever felt for anything, such wild love? —Mary Oliver
from the moment i knew of this little ones being (which involved a sonogram in a little country restaurant parking lot and lots of happy tears) i was filled with anticipation and joy.
i've told multiple people, in all manner of abject wonder, how disarming and incredible it is to have so much love for such a little being who isn't even your own blood relative. for such is the experience i have when it comes to loving this small person. if i love this baby this much, how in the world am i going to feel about my own hopefully-one-day child?
i hold the hope of one day finding out.
some of you may remember the photos i posted of Maddie when she was pregnant and how they are still some of my favorite photos i've ever taken. created in a time when i wasn't feeling very fulfilled with my photography and when i felt somewhat lifeless in creating much of anything at all. and yet, in the documentation of this little life, i've found so much fulfillment.
Maddie often says her life would go undocumented if it weren't for me (i took photos of her all through high school-college for every occassion imaginable, then photos of her and her husband Taylor when they were dating, engaged, when they were married and even when they lived out in California for a bit) which might be true. but i surely wouldn't have nearly as full of a life without knowing her. she has remained my true blue friend for over a decade now and, often embarrassingly so, knows the most about me of all of my friends. if you have someone in your life you've known that long and have felt that sort of bond with, you know perhaps the kind of love i am speaking of. there is truly nothing i wouldn't bend over backwards to do for her and, now, her family as well. for, even though it took me a little while to warm up to him, i truly love her husband Taylor and am so thankful for his friendship as well. they are both some of the most genuine and real people i know. unapologetically so. which is my favorite kind of person. someone who is just unfalteringly and completely themselves. Maddie has always been that way, from day one, and i'm glad she met her match in Taylor in that way.
it feels somewhat raw to share such personal and intimate feelings about people i love so very deeply on such a public space, and yet, such is the day and age we live in now—where such things seem normal and trivialized. however, while i do tend to keep more things private and personal these days, i've honestly found so much value and encouragement within my own space and in others, by sharing such things vs. keeping them pent up inside. i think it's a beautiful thing to be able to share stories so readily. to encourage others and spread light through them. and so, here is a little piece of one of mine.