A Girl Named Leney

THE JOURNAL

My Satisfaction


I was debating whether or not to share this with everyone. 
I don't always like going into too many personal things of this nature on here.
Simply because, well, it's personal.
However, I felt prompted to in hopes that it might encourage someone and be something that someone maybe needed to read or get a little something out of.
Not to say that I have any magnificent all knowing advice that's extremely life changing. But you know, sometimes we can learn from others mistakes.

Honestly, I've had a rough few weeks. 
I've taken on a lot of new projects, new changes, and new adjustments.
Life's just been a little bit crazy lately.
But it's really not even that. A lot of it, most of it, is good stuff and I love keeping busy.
Truthfully, if I'm not doing something I feel is productive, I have a hard time functioning (this is one of the biggest reasons I knit during movies...)
However, I slowly got myself into this rut. I lost a lot of passion and motivation for the things I was doing. Even the things I loved doing. And I knew something was off.
One of my best qualities, I believe, is being able to find happiness in little things. Anything can make my day really. A new book, a cupcake, new yarn, a sweet voicemail from a friend, anything silly and little that I love. I'm always able to find something good in a situation.
But I'd lost even that ability.

I eventually realized I was trying to find happiness and overall satisfaction in things of this world. Which is something I know I need to guard against and think about regularly, because I'm definitely more susceptible to it than others I feel like. At least at times.
But it's so easy to get caught up in what the world says will make you happy.
Achieving this, doing that, going here, being there, it's an endless cycle that we can get so easily sucked into.
I realized that I was trying to accomplish all of my things I needed to do, all of my check lists and reminders and notes, my appointments, etc. to achieve a satisfaction that I wasn't going to find.
I'm never ever going to accomplish all that I think I need to do and accomplish.
There will always be something else to do, something else to finish and get done. And basing my happiness on the accomplishment of these things is just stupid.
It's a race I'm never going to win.
Even if I manage to accomplish a fair amount of things, the temporary satisfaction it brings is so fleeting.
It's nothing compared to what God can give me.

So, in short, I learned that I need to start my day with Him.
I know it is such a cliche Christian thing to say, that you should start your day with a devotion and reading the bible, but it is so so true. I've been reading a devotion called Jesus Calling by Sarah Young and it is literally something I look forward to every morning. It starts off my day right, in the right mindset, and my day always, always goes better because of it.
Not to say that I don't still have struggles and downfalls, but I'm so much more prepared to fight them now.

Also, I need to continually trust God. Not just every day, but every moment. And to give God my moments. Because He is the keeper of time and if there is something I need to get done or accomplish, it will get done and be accomplished.
I need to trust Him in that.
I am so tempted every morning to skip my devotions when I'm running late in getting out the door. But I find that every time I do take a few minutes to just sit, breathe, and spend some time with God, it's like time stops for a little bit and I never end up being late or running out of time. Because I trusted God in knowing that if I spent time with Him, everything would turn out alright.

And finally that I need to look to Him for satisfaction and peace. In the activity addiction of this age it's not an easy thing, because we are constantly told that we need to do this, this, this, this and this to achieve peace and happiness. But that's not true. We simply have to rest in God and know that He is the only thing that can really give that to us. We can't find that anywhere else. Or in anyone else. Or in anything else. He is the only true source of peace and satisfaction and happiness.


“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid." -John 14:27