A Girl Named Leney


Goals | February

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So I have to say that I'm actually pretty happy with the outcome of January's goals.
I did really well at creating new habits in regards to eating better, journaling, not shopping, working out, trying out new methods of organization, getting rid of some things, having a daily quiet time and getting much better at creating a work schedule to stick to, as well as a few other things.
Granted the work schedule isn't exactly how I'd like it to be yet (neither is the workout one for that matter...), but it's a heck of a lot better then where it was a month or two ago!
I can definitely feel a difference in a lot of ways already, even though I wasn't as strict and routine as I wanted to be with a few of the goals, so I'm not going to be so hard on myself. I mean this is a process after all, and it's certainly not going to be perfect the first go round.
Things take time.

When thinking about what I wanted to do for February's goals, I thought about what was important to me. The first thing that came to mind was the people in my life.
And so, while I focused on myself for the first month of this year and taking care of myself and creating good habits, this month I'm going to focus on others.
That first bit might seem selfish but at the same time we can't truly love others and care for them if we don't first love and take care of ourselves.
Don't you agree?
So this month, despite it being a tad bit cliche with Valentine's Day and all, I'm focusing on love. Loving others. And finding new/strange/exciting/hard/fun/uncomfortable/selfless ways to do that.
And, as it so happens, in The Happiness Project Gretchen talks about a very similar project for her February chapter of the book.
So it's perfect!
Here are some thoughts and reminders I've collected to motivate and inspire this months goals.

February | There Is Only Love

Expect The Best

  • Love expects the best.
  • Remember that there is only love.
  • Refuse to have critical thoughts of others or of circumstances.
  • Often times we are far more aware of what we do than what other people do. Whether it's in a tough situation, in a discussion about compromising or when we feel wronged. Be more aware of what others do or what they may be dealing with. I don't always see the big picture. 
  • In frustrating situations where I might be tempted to assume things or think the worst. Take a moment to reframe. Go back and remember the first thing on this list. 
  • My relationships set the weather for other areas of my life.
  • One of the worst things is to focus on someones bad habits and take their virtues for granted.
  • What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while.
  • "It is easy to be heavy, hard to be light " -G.K. Chesterton
  • 1 Corinthians 13:4 = What love is

Don't Expect Praise Or Appreciation

  • When doing things for others, don't have ulterior motives. 
  • However sometimes you have to do things you're doing for others, for yourself. If you do it for other people, you end up wanting them to ackowledge it and to be grateful and to give you credit. If you do it for yourself you don't expect people to react in a particular way.
  • Am I doing this selflessly or is it for a "gold star"?
  • It's not about what I'm getting out of doing it.

Fight Right

  • Some disagreement is inevitable. Even valuable. Don't see it all as negative.
  • In order to fight right you should tackle one difficult topic at a time. Not airing every grievance and wrong doing ever committed in the history of the relationship.
  • Avoid saying things such as "You always.." and "You never.."
  • Be honest about feelings now instead of later. Don't allow things to build up.
  • The major cause of my bad feelings might not be others behaviour, but rather my guilt about my reaction.
  • Expressing anger often doesn't relieve it, but amplifies it.

Nix The Negativity

  • People pick up on one anothers moods easily.
  • Hearing people complain is tiresome. Regardless of whether or not the complaining is justified.
  • In any relationship it's less important to have many pleasant experiences than it is to have fewer unpleasant experiences. Because people have a "negativity bias"; our reactions to bad events are faster, stronger and stickeier than our reactions to good events.
  • It has been said that it takes at least 5 positive actions to offset one critical or destructive action.

Give Proofs of Love

  • Whatever love I might feel in my heart, others will see only in my actions.
  • Focus on peoples love languages. If I don't know them, learn them.
  • If you want to know how people would like to be treated, it's more important to look at how they themselves act than what they say.
  • "Act the way I want to feel" -Acting lovingly towards someone can only amplify my love for them.
  • Love extravagantly.
  • Take all the love you've received and give it away like you weren't trying to save it for later. We are rivers, not reservoirs.
  •  In Galatians Paul writes that the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. Which is loving God, and then by extension loving other people. As we begin to focus more on Christ, loving Him and others becomes more natural. 
  • Make a list of specific acts of love that I can accomplish this month.