A Girl Named Leney

THE JOURNAL

Watered Down

“I see this beautiful, gorgeous, girl who has these big and amazing dreams and she won't tell people what she wants. I think you use filters when telling me what you want. And so you feel alone, because I don't often hear you fully, because what you're saying has been filtered and watered down so much”
////

These are words someone said to me once. 

I’d written them down in an attempts to remember them.
In hopes that they would sink in, in the way you want good advice to sink in, and that I would come to some resolve afterwards to take action against their subject, however conscious or subconscious. 

The subject being, to not filter what I want. 

When I came across these words recently I realized, that it's been quite some time since I heard them but also, more importantly: I am not that person anymore. 

Or, at least, I haven’t been for the past year or so. I’ve slowly but surely built up that assurance in myself (whether it was conscious or subconscious is unknown) and my desires and convictions to state, really-truly-all-the-way-out-loud what it is I want. 

With the exception of lately. 

Lately there’s been a certain area in my life where I haven’t been all the way clear about those things. I've been watering things down. It’s mostly business related, but, without going into detail, I've been noticing that it’s leaked into other areas of my life as well.
However, I have no desire to revert back to that person that I once-upon-a-time was.

And so this is a reminder to myself today.

Don’t water down your dreams.
Your ambitions.
Your wants.
Whether they are larger than life desires, or in the moment small needs. Because you’re a person with value and substance. Your wants matter. Don’t be shy about them. Be bold and speak out. 
No one's going to know what you want unless you tell them. It's not a guessing game. Don't treat your dreams so lightly. Give them the voice they deserve.

Don’t leave them watered down.