you brought with you a grid full of revelations. dawnings. awakenings.
realizations in the way of this-is-mes and i-belong-heres.
i often feel as though you do this to me annually.
you bring with you the promise of a new season. in weather and in spirit.
a chance to start over. try again. begin once more.
you are forgiving of me in that way.
regardless, i won’t complain. because the habitualness of those promises is something i flourish in.
i can look back on all of our years together and pin point importance after importance that you ushered me into, through and out of.
i wish you would stay a little bit longer.
but that is not your nature.
i suppose if it was you wouldn’t be all-the-way you.
and i don’t want that.
your unchangeable ways is what i love most about you.
Thoughts
Via Instagram
A New Way To Set Goals
So I want to talk about this podcast I listened to this week.
So revolutionary for me in the way of goal setting. I think many of you know how goal oriented I am, (let's just do a re cap of goal-centric 2014 shall we?) especially in the way of list making.
But this was a take on goal setting I hadn't heard before (and I've heard a lot of them) and it really opened my eyes to a lot in the way of how to not only set goals more effectively, but how you actually might be setting the wrong goals. Or maybe not the wrong goals per say, but how you might be trying to achieve them in the wrong order.
I'm going to go more in depth about what I'm talking about but I definitely encourage you to give the actual podcast a listen! The best part is in the latter half, so it might feel long but hang in there and hear the whole thing!
I also just want to say that this post is 100% credited and attributed to Emily Thompson and Kathleen Shannon of Being Boss and their guest for this podcast episode, Chalene Johnson. Without whom I wouldn't have this content! So thanks heaps to them for sharing these awesome ideas. If you are your own boss, or want to be, I definitely recommend checking out their podcast.
So, because having things written out for reference is really nice, I decided to write down my version of what Chalene talked about.
So grab a piece of paper and pen and keep reading!
................................................................
Step 1 |
Write down the following categories
1. Physical Health
2. Mental Well Being
3. Environment
4. Finances
5. Family + Friends
6. Significant Other / Love Interest
7. Career / Purpose
8. Growth / Getting Smarter
9. Pure Joy / Hobbies
10. Spirituality
Step 2 |
Quickly go through and score your contentment in each of these areas from 1-10.
Ten being the most content.
Don't over analyze this too much, just do it as it comes to you.
Step 3 |
Take a look at how you scored each category.
Which areas are your lowest?
Are you surprised by them?
The areas that you scored lowest in are main attributors to your unhappiness or lack of goal achievement. Pretty eye opening huh?
Step 4 |
Write your top goals in your lowest scored areas.
In other words make it a point to work first on where you're least content.
Next to each goal write, "what would it take to do this?" The answer is either accountability or money.
Keep that in mind when pursuing these various goals.
Step 5 |
After evaluating all of the above, ask yourself "What could I do that would make most of these things happen?"
Make that answer your 11th goal.
................................................................
The areas I scored lowest in were my physical health, finances and pure joy/hobbies. I'm going to go a little more in depth with each of these areas to further give an example of how they're affecting my goal achievement.
Finances: While I am pretty savvy when it comes to spending and I don't over indulge very often, I am not as organized as I would like to be when it comes to my finances. I am always behind in my accounting and expense reports and receipt filing which makes for extra stress come tax time. Or, let's be honest, all the time. Because I spend money on my business all the time, and my lack of organization in this area is a constant reminder. Every day. And it has effects on my mental well being more than I realize. Sometimes to the point where it hinders my productivity.
Not only that, I also want to be more consistent in the amount of income I do make every month so I can save more and be smarter and more planned with bigger purchases and investments. Something I have a hard time evaluating when I can't quickly pull up the answer to what I made on any given month, expenses and costs of business aside.
So there's that.
Physical health: Last winter and spring I was killing it with working out and eating well. Then came the warmer months, traveling, and... well.. things just sort of fell by the wayside. It's hard to maintain a healthy lifestyle when you don't make it a priority and I definitely was not making it a priority over the summer. This has led to some not-so-great feelings towards how I feel physically and, in turn, mentally as well.
So a few weeks ago I started to take action against that again and I've already been feeling better. So, hearing the podcast and reaffirming that health is one of my lower scores, made total sense to me and just re-motivated me to tackle the whole getting-my-butt-healthy-and-fit again plan that I've already been implementing.
Which as a result has led to me feeling better and more motivated about my other goals and other areas of my life.
See? It really is all connected.
I think that was the biggest takeaway for me while listening to this honestly. Everything in your life is interconnected and one area will inevitably effect another at some point.
Pure Joy / Hobbies: What? That makes no sense... I have hobbies.. sure I have hobbies...
Scoring lower in this area initially confused me but then the more I thought about it, the more I realized I really didn't have a ton of stuff I could easily think of that were just pure-joy, simply-for-the-pleasure-of-it, not-in-some-way-work related things.
Of course I have to preface the following with saying that I am extremely thankful that I get to do what I do for a living. Knitting, traveling, photography? I couldn't dream up a better dream job. It is my dream job. However, all of those things were once upon a time my hobbies. Things I did just for fun. And while I definitely still enjoy them, immensely, and can often do parts of them just for me, it's really hard for me to do them apart from a this-is-work mindset.
And ultimately anything I do in those areas attribute to my growth and success work-wise anyways.
What were the things I did that weren't fueled by work, a need for money, were just for fun or just for me?
Hmm.
I had to think about that one for a little bit.
So finding hobbies, activities and things I love to do, simply just to do them, productivity inducing or not, has been something that's really eye opening for me.
So. What's my 11th goal?
Work smarter.
Maybe I'll expand upon what I mean by that in another blog post, but I think this one's long enough for now so I'll end here.
I would love to hear your thoughts on all of this.
Was this in any way as eye opening for you as it was for me?
What are some of your goals?
Comment below and let's talk about it.
More goal oriented things...
-Make sure your goals are oriented around, and pushing you towards these things.
-Paul Jarvis and Jason Zook of Invisible Office Hours, had a podcast episode this morning on Goals which is also a great listen-to on this topic.
-While dreams and goals are different, they are connected. Here are some thoughts on my dreams from the archives.
-Elise also has a great podcast on this topic as well which you can listen to here.
(I am so about the podcast life these days... can you tell?
On Building A Home
building a home.
it’s something i imagine and wonder at sometimes.
not in the day dreaming way so much (though it is obviously a dream of mine to have one day) but in the how-is-this-such-a-common-every-day-thing-for-so-many? sort of way. a thing so many take for granted.
building a home with someone, a man, is more than just residing in a four walled structure of brick and mortar.
it’s about those windows and doors that only the two of you know about.
it’s about being able to be silent together and pouring out every thought and word and feeling in you all at once and feeling equally content in both.
it’s about daily choices. hard choices.
it’s about stopping to ask questions other than “how was your day?”
it’s about loving someone at their least lovely.
it’s about staying when you want to leave.
it’s about leaving when you want to stay.
or so i imagine.
for i have yet to build a home with someone.
so until that eventually-at-the-right-time day comes, i’ll just wonder at it.
Being Still
this is something that’s a challenge for me.
while i excel at being alone, it’s very hard for me to be still. i bring up both synonymously, not because you can’t be still when you’re around others, you can, but i find most often the need for it is when i am alone. to myself. in a place of solitude. away from people.
but as i was saying.
my mind is one that is constantly going.
whirring.
moving.
progressing.
growing.
and to be still and quiet it, and my soul, is something that doesn’t come naturally or easily for me. outwardly not so much, i can be physically still easily. but inwardly… that's another story.
but meditating, having a quiet moment to begin the day, has become a part of my morning routine that i’ve tried to maintain.
to intentionally set my mind on what i’m living for, who i’m living for, and what i want to accomplish in the hours set before me and my day. doing this has really helped in staying focused and motivated to get things done. amazingly so actually. i tend to hop from one thing to another and multi task to the point of unproductiveness.
more often than not i’m working from home and that brings with it a slew of distractions.
those clothes need to be put away.
oh i need to take out the trash.
i can’t forget honey at the grocery store later.
did i wash that?
that definitely needs to be washed.
what should i wear to dinner tonight…
i need to organize that shelf right now. it’s driving me crazy.
oh look a this photo! i forgot i had this.
instagram.
twitter.
instagram.
ok stop stop. focus. focus.
tumblr.
snapchat *super fast*
okay okay, phone off.
where’s that pen…
i need to write that down before i forget.
… you get the picture.
so.
this is something i’m still working on. still practicing. still trying to be.
and that’s okay. it’s okay that i’m not always super great at it.
i think for me it’s primarily just being aware that it’s something that’s good for my mental and, indirectly, physical health.
for my being.
but mostly, i think it’s just a reminder of this.
Doing It Exactly Right
sometimes i feel like i’m doing it all wrong.
things don’t add up.
mistakes are made.
problems come up.
stresses arise.
but i recently had this thought: what if i’m not doing it all wrong. what if, actually, i’m doing it exactly right?
for isn’t it these moments of indecision and frustration and problems arising and choices going wrong that most often shape, mold and create us into being better and more solid beings?
after all, without challenges and having to figure out problems, we’d never have a chance to grow.
so then, wouldn’t all of the wrongness, all of the mistakes, all of the this-isn’t-rights actually, in fact, be the opposite?
think about it.
give yourself some grace.
you probably deserve it.
because even though you feel like you’re doing it all wrong. maybe. just maybe.
you’re actually doing it all exactly right.
Planted
something i’ve learned this past year is how to take root and be more
stationary.
planted.
still.
i haven’t always been good at this.
and i might again at some point not be good at it.
but right now i am and i’m proud of that.
The Things We Do To Find People Who Feel Like Us
an album title i came across recently that struck me.
what a thought provoking string of words.
people who feel like us.
it’s a comfort thing. an i-want-to-feel-safe thing.
a feeling that makes us feel at home.
i think it can have connotations of a dangerous closed mindedness, an inside a box and too-much-the-sameness to it.
but i think a lot of the time it can be a good thing.
people who are similar to you.
who share the same passions, interests, likes, dislikes, ambitions, plans, dreams.
it helps foster challenge and growth. an ability to spur one another on in our journeys and pursuits that we share together. similar in and of themselves or not.
i’m grateful for those people i’ve been able to find who feel like me.
who are there for me through countless obstacles, trials and inconvenient times.
and it’s interesting too to think about how i found them. what i did to go about finding them. the actions i took. whether intentional or unintentional.
like striking up a conversation with a stranger in line for a concert.
responding to a text message.
taking someone to grab coffee.
introducing myself to someone.
accepting a last minute job offer.
going to a new place by myself.
asking to take someone’s photo.
saying “oh yea me too”.
these are all things i’ve done that have resulted in finding the most wonderful people who i can’t really imagine my life without now really.
it’s a good thing to think about i think.
so that i don’t stay inside my little box and comfort zone, and i am more open minded and malleable and in a position for change and new opportunities when they present themselves.
so that i can continue to grow and be challenged and find more people who feel like me.
Kinder
i've learned how to be kinder to myself.
more forgiving.
allowing for faults and discrepancies and mistakes.
extending grace.
embracing imperfection and a need for a change of scenery, mindset and routine every so often.
i take deep breaths
i draw myself baths
i take myself to the movies even when i might be the only one in the theater
i buy myself foods that might not always be the healthiest
i light candles
i push away from my desk even when there's a pile of work on it
i close and turn off all of my screens
i make time for exercise
i don't make time for exercise
i sleep in sometimes
i take off my shoes and walk barefoot
i don't always wear makeup
i go to those just-for-me places
i treat myself to things i don't always need
i go for a walk late at night or early in the morning or whenever the mood strikes me
i'm kinder to myself and in turn that helps me be kinder to others.
because what goes around comes around.
so they say.
i do find that mantra is especially true in this case though.
The Events At Dusk
whispering fading darkness.
your favorite light is the light that can equally belong to the dusk and the dawn because, if you didn’t have a point of reference, you could close your eyes and open them again and not be sure which time it was.
the familiar feelings aren’t present, and so the present ones make you feel like a stranger to yourself, but not one you altogether dislike.
you miss them. you miss them in their familiarness. but you aren’t sure if that’s an alright thing to feel. whether it’s a sign of set back, of being stuck, or a sign of moving forward, of growth.
there’s the smell of smoke.
there’s the feel of grass on bare feet.
there’s the vision of blurry lights strung in the trees.
your altruistic turned mercurial ways.
the events at dusk.
One From The Other
"Quite literally the worst thing I could think of is having a job and a life where one only began when the other one ended. I hope you enjoy what you do enough that you have trouble separating one from the other as well."
This was a sentiment expressed to me by one of my favorite people recently and it resonated with me in such a very real and deep way.
I think it's something we should all think about really.
I was going to expand upon this... but now I actually think I'm just going let this be.
I think the words speak for themselves.